RedWngBlckBrd
03-01-2007, 03:29 PM
Hi, I'm Sarah and I was a PolycarbonBBS member a few years ago and I forgot my old ID name... (if I can find it maybe I can share some old pics of art) I remember doing some sort of undersea scubadiver thing with sketetons as a group deadline project thing... I'm hoping to get back in shape artwise and flex some muscle and really make a go of it with a new wacom tablet-
I am starting to work on a comic strip- and sequence work is really a new frontier for me. I have started trying to sketch out a layout and am struggling with many issues, (there is so MUCH to think about!) but before I even start worrying about frame angles and anatomy and character development… I’d like to get some input on the story to find out if the story is compelling and appealing. If that is established, I’d like to then discuss how I imagine the story in pages and frames.
The story is a blend between cliche' sitcom comedy of errors, soldier action and Tom and Jerry slapstick there is also an unusual morphing between comic and reality- lines are sometimes blurred (for example- talking cat is alive with realistic comic humans- their own comic strip appears published within their comic world) It’s a war within a war- based on a love interest/tension situation between a male and female soldier in a military post in Iraq.
The foundation character is actually a very tough stanky street smart feral camp cat.
His friend/ foe is an affable Sgt. whose job is to collect intel from the battlefields.
The male love interest is lower ranking soldier who is genuine, sweet, shy, buff, handsome but gullible and pretty clueless with women. He is the brunt of many practical jokes.
Cast of supporting male soldiers.
The female love interest is a curvy bomb dog handler.
The dogs at the kennel provide tension for the feral cat as well as the male love interest.
The Sgt. has an uncanny ability to send the soldiers on errands which get them in trouble.
The original strip has been drawn- but will probably be redone. Comedy of errors- In that story the hero was sent to the kennels to get some flea powder (for the cat) The girl acts surprised because he is not responsible for any dogs. He acknowledges he does not have any dogs. She “get’s it” and presumes that he wants the flea powder to treat Jock itch- and warns him that it will not work for that purpose. He is too mortified to even counter so he takes the powder and goes back to the Sgt’s office- lobs the powder at him and storms off. The Sgt. thanks him and declares that he thinks the girl likes him.
It took me three pages to draw this story out.
Continued- Part two- (this is the story I’m currently involved in crafting which I'd like comments on)
Soldier group walking through camp are teasing the hero over the Bomb Dog Girl… he’s resisting their prodding…then… she calls to him from the kennel … stricken, he peels away from the group of guys. She tells him there is something he has to see, takes him to the back room computer (mistaken intent) and she shows him that the Sgt. has published the previous comic strip online- “What was he thinking? … How Embarrassing!” ( she is refering to the question of her liking him.- while he is reeling over the whole jock itch implication) The cat, soldier style, makes a brave dash past kennels to gather intel from spying in the high window. The hero stammers to explain, “I don’t have (jock-itch)…” and the girl crestfallen, thinks he has no feelings for her… he stutters something about the cat but she does not comprehend the meaning, He leaves in a hurry. The cat reports back to Sgt. with the bad news. They decide they (the men) must take action on Hero’s behalf.
Part three:
Sgt. wakes hero up in the middle of the night with a fool’s errand- to get “digital camo paint” from the supply room on the other side of the blacked out camp. This will take him past the quarters of the girl who is sleeping. The guy is shaking off sleep, slightly afraid of the dark and without a flashlight. He sets out through the darkness singing a childish camp song to comfort himself. Along the way there are patrols who are reporting back to Sgt. on hero’s progress though the dark. At precisely the right moment, the cat, who has hidden himself inside the girl’s room- leaps down yowling on the sleeping female soldier and scares her - she runs shrieking from her housing in PJs right smack into the hero in the dark. This tactical perfection is viewed by all with night vision. At first he responds without knowing who she is- asking., “What’s the matter soldier?” She says there is a giant ferocious desert cat in her bunk and she realizes (melting) that it’s him by his voice- She asks him if it’s him and he replies, “Bomb Dog Girl?” without even thinking (because we still don’t know her name and neither does he) She recoils pissed (of course he can’t see that in the dark) and he tells her to wait while he deals with the cat. Inside her housing the cat reveals himself to the hero and suggests they make a lot of noise banging around and yowling to impress her… hero suggests that while he would like to make the throttling noises a little more realistic- but for right now- they need to root through her stuff quickly to find out her real name… he finds her name on a letter addressed to her… with a man’s name on the return address…
so what do you think of the storyline?
I'm so glad to be back... you would not believe how sad I was last night trying to remember the name polycarbon and running their fruitless searches blah blah + tutorial to try to find this place again- this is the one and only community as far as I'm concerned. Finally just as I was dozing off her name hit me like a bolt.
I am starting to work on a comic strip- and sequence work is really a new frontier for me. I have started trying to sketch out a layout and am struggling with many issues, (there is so MUCH to think about!) but before I even start worrying about frame angles and anatomy and character development… I’d like to get some input on the story to find out if the story is compelling and appealing. If that is established, I’d like to then discuss how I imagine the story in pages and frames.
The story is a blend between cliche' sitcom comedy of errors, soldier action and Tom and Jerry slapstick there is also an unusual morphing between comic and reality- lines are sometimes blurred (for example- talking cat is alive with realistic comic humans- their own comic strip appears published within their comic world) It’s a war within a war- based on a love interest/tension situation between a male and female soldier in a military post in Iraq.
The foundation character is actually a very tough stanky street smart feral camp cat.
His friend/ foe is an affable Sgt. whose job is to collect intel from the battlefields.
The male love interest is lower ranking soldier who is genuine, sweet, shy, buff, handsome but gullible and pretty clueless with women. He is the brunt of many practical jokes.
Cast of supporting male soldiers.
The female love interest is a curvy bomb dog handler.
The dogs at the kennel provide tension for the feral cat as well as the male love interest.
The Sgt. has an uncanny ability to send the soldiers on errands which get them in trouble.
The original strip has been drawn- but will probably be redone. Comedy of errors- In that story the hero was sent to the kennels to get some flea powder (for the cat) The girl acts surprised because he is not responsible for any dogs. He acknowledges he does not have any dogs. She “get’s it” and presumes that he wants the flea powder to treat Jock itch- and warns him that it will not work for that purpose. He is too mortified to even counter so he takes the powder and goes back to the Sgt’s office- lobs the powder at him and storms off. The Sgt. thanks him and declares that he thinks the girl likes him.
It took me three pages to draw this story out.
Continued- Part two- (this is the story I’m currently involved in crafting which I'd like comments on)
Soldier group walking through camp are teasing the hero over the Bomb Dog Girl… he’s resisting their prodding…then… she calls to him from the kennel … stricken, he peels away from the group of guys. She tells him there is something he has to see, takes him to the back room computer (mistaken intent) and she shows him that the Sgt. has published the previous comic strip online- “What was he thinking? … How Embarrassing!” ( she is refering to the question of her liking him.- while he is reeling over the whole jock itch implication) The cat, soldier style, makes a brave dash past kennels to gather intel from spying in the high window. The hero stammers to explain, “I don’t have (jock-itch)…” and the girl crestfallen, thinks he has no feelings for her… he stutters something about the cat but she does not comprehend the meaning, He leaves in a hurry. The cat reports back to Sgt. with the bad news. They decide they (the men) must take action on Hero’s behalf.
Part three:
Sgt. wakes hero up in the middle of the night with a fool’s errand- to get “digital camo paint” from the supply room on the other side of the blacked out camp. This will take him past the quarters of the girl who is sleeping. The guy is shaking off sleep, slightly afraid of the dark and without a flashlight. He sets out through the darkness singing a childish camp song to comfort himself. Along the way there are patrols who are reporting back to Sgt. on hero’s progress though the dark. At precisely the right moment, the cat, who has hidden himself inside the girl’s room- leaps down yowling on the sleeping female soldier and scares her - she runs shrieking from her housing in PJs right smack into the hero in the dark. This tactical perfection is viewed by all with night vision. At first he responds without knowing who she is- asking., “What’s the matter soldier?” She says there is a giant ferocious desert cat in her bunk and she realizes (melting) that it’s him by his voice- She asks him if it’s him and he replies, “Bomb Dog Girl?” without even thinking (because we still don’t know her name and neither does he) She recoils pissed (of course he can’t see that in the dark) and he tells her to wait while he deals with the cat. Inside her housing the cat reveals himself to the hero and suggests they make a lot of noise banging around and yowling to impress her… hero suggests that while he would like to make the throttling noises a little more realistic- but for right now- they need to root through her stuff quickly to find out her real name… he finds her name on a letter addressed to her… with a man’s name on the return address…
so what do you think of the storyline?
I'm so glad to be back... you would not believe how sad I was last night trying to remember the name polycarbon and running their fruitless searches blah blah + tutorial to try to find this place again- this is the one and only community as far as I'm concerned. Finally just as I was dozing off her name hit me like a bolt.