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View Full Version : Earth A.D.: Egyptian Independence


JohnnyLovesYou
03-20-2005, 06:44 PM
Mmmm my first comic page.
The story will follow a Reghed slave Abdul Rhaman in the post-apocalyptic 23rd century as he tries to unite his people and forge an independent nation for them.
http://home.comcast.net/%7EJohnnyLovesYou/egyptindependence001.jpg

Notes: It hasn't even been inked yet so I can fix almost anything. I know its huge but I messed up on the fonts so it would be super difficult to read at anything smaller. If someone could point me to a good font I'd be very grateful. Notes on page are in red obviously.

I realize the story is difficult to get into especially with a 150 year backstory. If you'd prefer you can get a timeline from 2050 to 2328 HERE (http://home.comcast.net/%7EJohnnyLovesYou/earthad/story.html).

I would appreciated harsh harsh harsh critiques if possible. If not then interesting comments/questions will do.

mofo09
03-20-2005, 08:19 PM
thats good man, but one thing that is important in a comic is space with the text man, its hard to read and it doesnt look good if everything is packed together like you have it there. try to make your bubbles bigger and your text not so hard to read

ben2theedge
03-21-2005, 03:50 AM
Go to blambot.com for some good comic fonts. My favorite is "Letter O' Matic" but they've got a bunch of different styles and most of them are free.

Looks good except for two things: The guy in the middle of the bottom frame looks a little off balance. His right (our left) leg should probably be a little further out. And the guy on the very right of the panel is taking up a lot of space but he's just standing there staring. That's fine the way it is but since he's so prominant in the frame maybe he should be making some kind of gesture like "get him out of here" or pointing at the mutant or something.

JohnnyLovesYou
03-21-2005, 07:12 AM
Awesome thanks for the link, the fonts rock. Yeah I'll fix the middle guy. I was thinking the same thing about the big guy but I think I'll give him a pad and a pen and he'll be writing up the capture instead.

Also about the sketchy looking gutters, they'll look better inked, I swear.

JohnnyLovesYou
03-21-2005, 08:36 AM
Alright, fixed some stuff, anything I should do before I ink this?
Also which is easier to read the first 3 panels(italics) or the last 2(regular)?
http://home.comcast.net/%7EJohnnyLovesYou/egyptindependenceB001.jpg

Adkit
03-21-2005, 09:57 AM
Why is the guy whom is tying up the "brutes" arm (or whatever he's doing) the only one with that cool mask? If it's part of the uniform the other guy should have it too. Also, why is his fly open? XD Ok, it's nitpicking but you said you wanted harsh. x.x

JohnnyLovesYou
03-21-2005, 03:23 PM
I didn't want them all to have the same face so I gave him the mask. If you NEED a reason its because he was on point with a tear gas grenade launcher and stil has residue on him so he wouldnt want to take the mask off yet. Or something. I'll fix the fly, thanks.