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Manga Sims
05-02-2005, 09:52 AM
There is a lack of detail in the background because I'm CGing this one. I tend to paint the detail in.

Crits and comments always welcome. :)

You may CG if you want.

I hope you like :)

http://tinypic.com/4tm2hu

FigureFour
05-02-2005, 10:10 AM
It looks like you shrunk it down and messed up the smoothness of the lines in the process.
But it's really good.

dfacto
05-02-2005, 10:32 AM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v19/dfunkt/139047_34_full.jpg

That being said I'd say her feet need work. They come off as rather inellegant compared to the rest of her. Try going for a more pointed look, rather than the very curvy one you have going atm.

Her right underarm is weak right now. The armpit contours should be shown, and connect them to the breast, which would help make it look more natural as well. I would also say that her butt is too rounded. She is slim, so the contours of the pelvis should come through a bit more. Best way to get it right would be with ref, and with that pose a porn pic would be in order. :P

Nice work, looking forward to seeing the color version.

enid
05-02-2005, 11:41 AM
It's good, but I think that her hips are angled too sharply to the right. If her upper body had been facing forward, it may seem a bit more natural, but her torso and hips point in opposite directions. Not exactly comfortable laying in bed.

twstdelf
05-02-2005, 11:54 AM
Nice ! I like the tilt of the bed, although I'm not sure the angle of her body matches (?), also think the upper arms may be a bit thick compared to the rest of her frame... could just be preference though.

Manga Sims
05-02-2005, 11:54 AM
ENID: Thats exactly what I was debating with myself about Enid. I couldn't figure it out. It really bugged me. Rather than laying there it seems as if she is rolling over. (One half of her body at a time....starting from the lower body.)

DFACTO: The feet do need work. Ima change them. And the pits too. The butt reference.....I can't get....My computer has parent control!!! NO!!! :)

FF: Yup. I shrank it. Its a bit too big for the forum. People with 800x600 screens would be angry. I should have left a link.

TWSTEDELF: Your right. The arms are a bit bigger than the rest of her. Ima fix that.

mercenary
05-02-2005, 01:31 PM
Looks good, I hope the CG is even better.
If this was an advertisement for lingerie, I would leave the critz to someone else. But this is art.
Her waist doesn't match her posture very well, it should be curved in the direction that her legs are going. Since she is laying in the bed she needs to have a relaxed expression and pose, not a, I'm ready for the camera expression.

creator
05-04-2005, 11:27 PM
i like it shes really pretty,i think you should more details to her corsett thou,like lace and some weaving patterns.

raptor
05-05-2005, 09:20 AM
sooooooo sims u moved up......
i think her upper half or bottom half needs a shift b/c that is so impossible lol

Manga Sims
05-05-2005, 09:35 AM
I'm movin up? Yo, I been up! (Kirby......:) )

Thanks for the crits and comments people :)

kez1337
05-06-2005, 02:48 AM
fab!!! w00t w00t i love it... such a polished style.... gjgj m8

altrodesi
05-06-2005, 05:08 AM
yo sims i love those expressions....there cool.good. KEEP it UP.:)

Missy
05-06-2005, 05:58 AM
Nice lineart, but I think the position is extremely awkward and well... Impossible to get in. You can't angle your legs that strongly to the side while keeping your upper half laid down, and having her arms like that would be extra painful, too. This is quite uncomfortable to look at, but still well-drawn. You should definitely thicken up your lineart though, it's quite faint because it's so sized down (I assume).

Awesome job on the hair, though. Keep it up =)