Nonexclusive Dateing: Cure or Curse

[Lights_Darkness]

My friend introduced this subject matter into my life and said it cures all the problems of dateing that could possibly come up. You get to date anyone you want and only rule is you spend equal time with all (basicly what he said not compleate list of rules but you get the idea). So I went with it currently dateing 2 (soon to be 3) wemon at once. Its becomeing more of a pain in the..........____......My friend used this long huge word it was something like antimonosagnificance. Which if broken down means nonexclusive dateing. Anyone out there antimonosagnificant and understands how it can be a pain. What happened today that gots me thinking that its more of a curse then pleasure is my gf kyle (changed names for security sake) planned a date with stevan (actual name screw him if somtin happens to him) then asked if I wanted to fill in the time (not exact words) till he got there. Ofcorse I said yes and everything was mild and ok till we switched off. She went up and huged kissed him and I felt just awkward. Was like eh............ going .........to.......go......now..........So I left I know she felt my just weridness so she came back and said was everything ok. Well I lied ofcorse im not going to tell her my life story right in the middle of boarders cafe : P. So I am home now (this all happened today) when I was walking out I saw her with him and it was like she was different. Didnt even look my way hardly. I love her enough to know that I cant ask her to date me exclusivly but I dont want to break up with her. The argument can be made that she feels the same way since I date other girls for that is in fact wrong the other girls are to be dumped soon (complacations and one of them called anime "kiddie cartoons" I nearly spit on her and walked out). So what is to be done is asked in this conversation. And for anyone else to share there experiances.

[Mika]

seems complicated

[Agent Cryrid]

More than one girlfriend may be what many dream about, but really the "nonexclusive"ness of it just goes against the whole point of dating in the first place. So my guess it is more of a curse.

[sinfire]

If you just want vagina it is good, but anything further then that makes this kind of dating a curse.

[Krasnoznamonec]

I'm guesing it's eating up your money faster than your making em. We'll at least your probebly getting lot's of sex.

Otherwise. I don't see any point in that kind of relationship.

Question: Your from Georgia U.S.A? or Georgia/Gruzia?.

[Steasaurus]

It's definately a curse...
I was dating a girl that was fresh out of a long term relationship and she was utterly amazing... she can DDR like crazy, pwnz point blank and kicks more ass than Cartman has on Tekken and she was gorgeous as well. Well my point is I really really liked her but understood she wasn't ready to jump straight into another relationship straight away and she was dating about. I was pretty sure I was winning her over, in fact I know I had her, but I didn't push for it to be come exclusive because I thought she wasn't ready. I was wrong and she turned exclusive with some other guy and pretty much told that I'd made the decision really tough for her but I hadn't shown enough enthusiasm towards being exclusive. Sucked! We still hang out, she knows I practically worship the ground she walks on but I like her to much to ruin anything so I'm privately praying that things with this guy don't last.

I was doing the whole non-exclusive thing a while ago and it was good for the sex but I would never do it if I classed the girls or a single girl as a "girlfriend" simply talk to her about it... I'm sure she'll understand and if not then shyt happens. There's no real way to tip toe around this either let her know how you feel and see if you can get things back to exclusive or run the risk of her becoming exclusive with another guy.

[Krasnoznamonec]

Sorry to hear things didn't work out 5te.

[Lights_Darkness]

I'm guesing it's eating up your money faster than your making em. We'll at least your probebly getting lot's of sex.

Otherwise. I don't see any point in that kind of relationship.

Question: Your from Georgia U.S.A? or Georgia/Gruzia?.

Where is gruzia lol anyways yes georgia USA home bread to. Im starting to see that theres really no point in this other then alot of sex. Which really isnt as good as it sounds. And your pretty much right it is eating up ALOT (crap load on the scale of 11 1-10) of cash. I already think I know what I am going to do eventually. Although there is really no clean way to do this or any way other then just out right saying it. I am going to tell her that this idea of shareing wemon with everyone sucks horribly. I talked to bloodstar (some of you may know him) on IM yesterday (good friend has helped me with critqueing my sketches) and we made a point that I think sticks to this subject very well. Dateing nonexclusivly has its perks but really love is to be shared between two people only. You cant just go out with ten wemon and tell all of them you love each one of them equaly. Becouse that is lieing and I value the man that can actually share his love but as for me I dont think IM that way. I know there is no chance she will go out with me exclusivly for the simple fact all the other guys she goes out with she has known for ALOT longer then me. Iv been going out with her for at most two months (dumped every second of that time with her pretty much so it seems lot longer then it is) and the closest guy she has to my time is like a year all the others are even longer. So what I think Im going to do is tell her that I want to date her exclusivly explain the situation then if she does go with me great then if not I find another gf. The value of a relationship is between two people I mean a REAL relationship not just going out for fun. That value has been bread into my thought process. I just think its time to stand up for that value becouse a mans values are all he can really call his own if he dosnt stand up for them what else does he have left?

[Krasnoznamonec]

I don't actualy have anything else to say at this moment. Exept some info on Georgia/Gruzia

http://www.cia.gov/cia/publications/factbook/geos/gg.html

[Steasaurus]

Fingers crossed for you dude. Hope it all works out good, let us know yeah?

[Lights_Darkness]

Will do its a sticky situation dont get yourselfs into it. SAY NO TO SHAREING GFS lol

[dfacto]

Dump them all.

Simple, huh?

[Noadi]

Okay I'll add my perspective on this.

It's a really bad idea for several reasons.

1) I've yet to meet anyone who doesn't get jealous. You're setting yourself up for a lot of stress and jealousy should you start caring about any of these girls.
2) Emotionally it's just not as fulfilling as real dating, even if you date someone for a short amount of time (couple month or so) there's still more to it emotionally than there is with casual sex.
3) If your having sex with those girls I hope you're being careful and using protection because there are obviously some pretty serious consequences if your not.

I'm not saying that every relationship should be really serious but that having an open relationship (which is the term I'm familiar with) has never worked for anyone I know who has tried it. An ex of mine had that sort of relationship with a girlfriend and it got pretty messy when we became close friends because she was a very jealous person (and this was even before we started dating that came after they broke up).

[Lights_Darkness]

Dump them all.

Simple, huh?

no....becouse I care for one of them.

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Ya I understand that jelousy thing now I thought I was beyond that : P turns out hey Im not lol. Dosnt everyone use protection? I thought the days of safe sex without condoms were over >_>. Anyways yes I use protection. And I guess I just didnt see the problems as closely as I should have before starting all this. : P

[Steasaurus]

Live life cautiously... don't just look before you leap, think before you blink. Otherwise you might miss something.

On a side note that is slightly off topic yet not, I turned down a ride home in an Evo on Saturday night/Sunday morning... why? because it was from the girl and it would have been the guy driving.


hmm... that first part seemed pretty wise for me ^^

[Lights_Darkness]

yes yes yes look before you leap i made a mistake : P oops

[Steasaurus]

lol at least you figured it out earlyish

[Lights_Darkness]

well many many months latter we broke up for some stupid reason. Happened yesterday, she said she wanted to be just friends for now. Im like screw it its not worth it and hanged up :P Life moves on eh

[moof]

yes, life moves on.