Ragnarok Online Succubus

[Grieverjoe]

Haven't drawn anything in a bit.
This here is a gift for one of my friends (he plays RO, as do I). I'm trying to go for a more anime/manga look with this one; trying to emulate Shunya Yamashita's style.
By all means, critique/comment/redline to your heart's content. Thank you.

[RetiredOldie]

Right, here we go.

Her pose would dictate that the beinding in the spine already start at the upper section of the pelvis rather than mid upper back like you drew it. The bulging out breasts is also unnapealing feature.

The section where the legs connect with her pelvis are rather odd too. It doesn't look broken or detached but somehow "off". It might be that judging by the shapes that form her torso there is an overlook on your part when it comes to accentuating the hips.

Head/face bit to small.

[Grieverjoe]

Thanks a lot, dude.
I haven't touched it lately (we're laying down flooring over the whole house. I'm damn exhausted), but this is where it is now.

Mind you, these changes I applied before your comments, so some may not line up. Here's what I worked on between the sketch and this:

-Changed the angle of the legs/feet
-Fixed her breasts (they felt like they were sitting too high up on her chest)
-Shortened her torso a bit
-Changed the left hand

I'll work on some of your comments when I get some time. In the meantime, as usual, fire away!

[RetiredOldie]

Good progress.

Current issues other than the stuff i meantioned are. The head and sholders seem as if she's standing in upright position. Her head should be lower and moved a bit to the left/forward.

Right legs upper section is missing.

Her breasts are sagging over when they should fallow or bend over the form of her arms.

[Grieverjoe]

Tiny update.


Fixed her breasts, head and right leg, per RO's suggestions. Haven't done more.
Other than the already-stated, see anything else?

[RTAgent5]

Her left breast seems a bit off. it almost seems like it should be overlapping the other one a little bit.Kind of like this.



Please forgive my terrible MSPaint skills. Haha

[Grieverjoe]

Can't see your picture, but I understand what you're trying to say.
Also, yay, flooring is finished. Maybe now I can finish this thing, eh?

[Grieverjoe]

You know how, when you're working on a picture, sometimes you take a break for whatever reason (installing flooring in the house) and then when you come back, you either can't make it work, or it just doesn't want to work?
Yeah, I'm starting this one over.

[Grieverjoe]

Round 2?

[Grieverjoe]

Last revision.

Comments?
...and, of course, after I post it, it seems like her head is too big.

[RTAgent5]

She's drawn in a manga-esque fashion. Perfectly acceptable.

[Quixotica]

i think the linework is perfectly good unless youre gonna ink it, then you should tidy it a little, but if youre paintting I'd say hit the brush..

[RetiredOldie]

the arc in the upper body hasn't been fixed in the slightest. Her upper body still looks like it's in upright position.

here a fast overlay with trying to fix the upper body without going to far into changing the pose.

[Quixotica]

bam that looks much better oldie, I clearly have no eye for problems

[afroXcore]

yeah, the pose definitely looks better, far more alluring.

[Grieverjoe]

Quix, it will be inked. This is the sketch phase (the third one, too)
RT, I usually don't try to draw in manga, but I felt this drawing needed to be so.
RO, thanks a lot for pointing it out. I thought I'd fixed it, but then I redid the whole thing (I kept some parts of the old drawing that I liked, such as the face, hands and boots). At least it shows I'm not as bad as I thought I was.

Thanks, guys.

[Grieverjoe]

Okay, I think I got it.

[OhHenry18]

Nice progression on this image. I think you're almost there, the last thing you need to fix is the torso. To me, it seems too compressed. Also, I'm not digging the arm underneath the breast thing because it doesn't look natural at all but to each his own.

Paintover for the torso:

[Grieverjoe]

I thought that looked odd. Thanks.

EDIT: Latest (final?) sketch.

[Pyros15]

The detail on the hands is amazing, but the position of the fingers seems off.

I think maybe you should move more towards OhHenry's orientation of the breast being behind the arm instead of on top of it; because right now, the arm/hand looks like its perpendicular to the body, but she has her hand placed on a paper that is in front of her.

Also, I can't really tell without colors if that is her right thumb or hair, but if its suppose to be her thumb it seems kinda long.